What is overthinking?
It's normal to think about the future and to recall the past. When faced with any decision we humans tend to go through the what-if’s. Just as it is normal to recall the past to see what we can do better. Overthinking is when that gets out of hand. It is when one thinks about the same situation or gets stuck on a thought repeatedly to the point that it can disrupt their life.
When worries get out of hand, you can think about the same hypothetical situations, fears, or actions over and over again. You might find yourself imagining the worst case scenarios. I’ve caught myself replaying bad things that have happened in my own head, most of the time at 2am. No matter the type, it’s all the same - unhealthy.
Overthinking can drain your energy impacting your work, friends, hobbies and relationships. If you don't learn how to curb it, eventually it will have a heavy impact on you. Physical effects of overthinking and the stress that it causes can lead to headaches, fatigue, digestive issues, issues sleeping or more. A medical professional can help you identify if overthinking is caused by general stress or deeper causes such as anxiety or depression.
Types of overthinking can be:
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Catastrophizing - Imagining the worst case scenario and going straight to that horrible ending. IE: Fearing you’ll be fired for being late. A similar but alternate version of this can be ‘filtering’ where your mind concentrates only on negatives while overlooking or discounting positives.
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All-or-nothing thinking - thinking to extremes. You feel you are either doing great or doing horrible with no inbetween.
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Overgeneralizing - When we face a setback we find our thoughts telling us that all of everything will go wrong no matter what.
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Should statements - Holding yourself and/or others to rigid and unrealistic standards.
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Personalization - Blaming yourself for things out of your control.
Why do we overthink?
Some people fall into these spirals more often than others. People that try to be perfect, neurodivergent folks, those that survive trauma and others tend to fall prey to their brain being mean. We tend to get stuck in these loops because our minds always come up with another little branch into more thinking.
Wanting things to be perfect is unrealistic but makes us second-guess our choices. It can even make us punish ourselves for our failures or mistakes.
Overthinking is a way of taking control, or so we rationalize. Feeling like things are out of our control is a scary feeling and those fears lead to the spiral of excessive worries.
Low self esteem sometimes makes overthinking worse. Failure, self doubt or comparing oneself to others can put us into chains of thinking that also turn negative.
While overthinking itself isn’t a mental illness it can be a symptom of stress, anxiety or depression. Finding a way to stop or limit overthinking is a way to take back control of your life.
How to stop overthinking?
First, I will forever and always suggest speaking to a medical professional.
Until then, I hope these tips will help you.
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Start trying to notice when you are beginning to spiral down - It seems hard, and it will be at first, but it’s worth it in the long run. You’ll have to train your brain to take that step back and look at how you are responding. Journaling can help here too. You can choose to do this on paper or digitally on your phone. Keep track of your thoughts, what happened to start those thoughts and then check back to see started that overthinking.
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Keep your thoughts in check - Those immediate negative thoughts that start as soon as something happens can be trained away. Using your mindset and mental health tools to shut them down before things get to spiraling. Challenging those thoughts can help too. Ask yourself if the negative thoughts you are running through are based in reality or overthinking.
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Take deep breaths and count down from 10 - Next time you realize you’re unable to stop those running thoughts, try filling your lungs as full as you can then breathe out slowly. Picture all of the stress leaving your body as you exhale.
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Learn to meditate - I’ll do a walkthrough on my meditation on this eventually, BUT For now, try the breathing but add in some mindset things to repeat on the regular. For example, next time you’re doing those breathing exercises, repeat to yourself, “I am okay” until you start to feel calmer.
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Don’t be too hard on yourself - That low self esteem or ‘being too hard on yourself’ really packs a punch. Don’t let your brain bully you. A good, “STOP, everything is okay” can help. Working on self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-confidence and self control all help you improve overall. Forgiving yourself for things, or forgiving others, can go far to help you push negative thoughts and spirals away.
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Reaffirm the positives - As often as you can, and more times when you’re in a negative space, repeat to yourself the positive things in your life. Remembering the good that has happened is important for a healthy mind.
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Find a distraction - Eventually you’ll have to deal with whatever started the overthinking but for now, find something that can get your mind off of things. I highly suggest something positive and constructive like starting a new hobby, picking up working out, or playing a video game.
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Embrace the uncertain - There is no point in taking on tomorrow's sorrows today when you have no idea what tomorrow holds. You may think you do, but you’re only guessing. Teach yourself to live in the momenta instead of trying to control the future.
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Ask for help - Please know, as always, needing help is not weakness. Your family, friends and medical professionals are there for you. Building up a strong, positive support system of people who are there to encourage you can make all the difference. One of the things I do is lean on my friends. I have trusted friends that I will relay my overthinking to and ask them if I’m overreacting or not. It helps!
I do all of these things myself and have found that they truly do make a huge difference. Overthinking is putting yourself through trauma more than once and sometimes more than never! All-in-all, remember you got this. You are the master of your own body, mind and reality.
Pat pat pat
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